Sexing the dragon

I’m not  a particularly vain creature. As dragons go I’m quite modest and self- effacing. As far as a Being my size can be self-effacing. I take care of myself. Bathe in enchanted pools every 100 years or so. Shed my scales from time to time. Trim my claws.  The usual dragonish things. What is fascinating is to see how my visitors respond to me. And want me to respond in my turn. I used to assume that men would want me to be “manly” and swap tales of our derring do. And that women would want me to be “sexy” and “interesting”. Occasionally things happen this way. The men want me to understand how brave they are. They suffer but bear it stoically. (If you have lived as long as me, you know all about stoicism.) The women want me to understand their lot. How they suffer in bad marriages. Do all the housework.  Are expected to still look great at the end of a hard day in the City. And so on.This used to be what I heard. And still do. But…

Many men now come to me and cry lots of sad tears. They feel lost. They’ve had a number of unsatisfactory relationships. Tried their best to believe in them. But had to admit they weren’t working. Some men try to be ” sensitive” , “caring” “nurturing”. They seem to find partners who want something different. But they don’t quite know what kind of “different”. Then I see women who are called “ball breakers”. Called this by both men and women. (An unsatisfactory state of affairs it seems to me.) They want me to understand they can be as big, fierce, strong, dangerous as any man-or dragon!

My task is to Be. And to Experience. And to Observe. Then to comment on what seems to be happening. Why does this man always choose women who will despise his kindness. Why does this woman choose men who want to keep her in the kitchen when she can’t stand cooking? And to think about what kind of dragon they want me to be. And why. And what happens when I choose to be my own kind of dragon? This is often the time when my visitors have to think very hard. Do they want a tame dragon? Or one who is real? How seriously do want me to take their concerns? It’s also the most dangerous for me. Being the wrong kind of dragon provokes some powerful responses just ask any dragon!




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